


there's some questions you just shouldn't ask

by Avengerz



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Extremis, M/M, Super Soldier Serum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:33:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4919719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avengerz/pseuds/Avengerz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers (read: Clint) wonders how sex between Steve and Tony works with both Steve's super soldier serum and Tony's Extremis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's some questions you just shouldn't ask

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://stevetny.tumblr.com/post/128523954508) post.

“I’m just sayin’, like,” the arrow spins across Clint’s fingers, end over end, until it lands in his palm and he points it towards Natasha, “they’ve got to have crazy sex marathons. And you’re telling me you’re not even a little bit curious?”

Natasha doesn’t even look up from her latest novel to dignify that question with a response, but there’s a muffled groan from beside Clint as Bucky drags his (flesh) hand down his face. “Please stop,” he says, almost begs, “I don’t wanna think about my best pal going at it with Stark.”

“Yeah, seriously man,” Sam pipes up, though he doesn’t look away from the TV, “that’s disgusting.”

“Sorry for being a little curious,” Clint exclaimed. “But, I mean, super soldier serum plus Extremis…” He trailed off with a suggestive wiggle of the eyebrows.

Bucky shudders. “I swear, Barton, I’m ‘bout to go Winter Soldier on your ass.” It’s a marked sign of his recovery that he can joke like that, and, hidden by her book, Natasha smiles.

Clint scoffs. “You’ve been in control for over a year, Barnes, that doesn’t scare me.” Then his eyes light up. “Hey, you’ve got the serum, or something like it. How fast can you get it up?”

“That’s enough, Clint,” Natasha calls out as Bucky stares at Clint in mute disbelief. “Your obsession with Steve and Tony’s sex life is bordering on unhealthy.”

“It’s not an obsession!” Clint protests.

“Jealousy, then?” A new voice says from the doorway to the living room and Clint spins to see Tony leaning against the doorjamb, arms folded and his lips quirked in a self-satisfied smirk. “Not that I blame you. The sex really is quite fantastic.”

Groans meet his statement. “TMI, man!” Sam calls out, and Bucky buries his head in his hands once more. 

“What? Birdbrain wanted to know!” Tony calls out in return before he returns his gaze to Clint. “And as for sex marathons…” Tony raises an eyebrow. “You remember that week in July when Steve and I were out of town?”

“Yeah,” Clint frowns. “You were on that mission in India.”

“Nope!” Tony pops the 'p’, looking ridiculously pleased with himself. “We were celebrating Steve’s birthday in my Hawaiian summer home. Or rather, in my Hawaiian summer home’s bed.”

Clint seems torn between disgust and fascination. “All week?”

Tony nods, Cheshire cat grin still in place. “All week. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a gorgeous, naked super soldier waiting in my room. I’ll see you all on Tuesday!” Then, whistling merrily, Tony strolls away.

Clint slowly turns back around and sits on the couch, his expression stuck on a weird sort of horror. “Man, I don’t know why I thought talking to him about that would be a good idea.”

“You could have just asked me,” Natasha remarks lightly as she turns the page. “My floor is beneath theirs, and Stark’s soundproofing isn’t nearly as good as he seems to think it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hesitate to let me know what you think of this!
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr!](anthonyfuckingstark.tumblr.com)


End file.
